Monday, May 4, 2009

FAT in my face.

My aspirations for this weekend were few. I was aware that it was to rain, or just be cloudy and dreary for most of the weekend. [And, really what more can you expect out of beautiful Shitsburgh? Oops...did I say that, Pittsburgh. You people who love this city are really just oblivious to sooooooooo much.] So, I had one goal. Replace winter tires with regular tires. And, I'm proud to report...check it off the list, DONE. Not on my list? Be reminded over and over and over how fat is bad and those of us who are fat are far from equal from those who are not.

1st (and by far the most insulting): When I finished with the tire event, I went to Fashion Bug. Usually FB doesn't disappoint, I can usually find a few things for decent prices. And, this time I was in luck because there was a good sale. Here's where the insult came in....first, if you've never been to a FB, let me explain. FB sells "regular, normal" size and "plus" sizes for us fatties. Now, usually when you walk in the door, the "good" sizes are to the left and the "bad" sizes are to the right. But, not in this store. The geniuses that run this store thought it would be brilliant to mix and match. So you're wondering along, thinking hey, that looks cute, but oh, wait it's not in my size. I'm too fat for those clothes. And OF COURSE, all the nicest, prettiest, cutest clothes fell in that category. The clothes in my size are mostly frumpy, ridiculous colors and fabric. See, the beauty of the separation, for the moments you're in the store, is to prevent you from being aware of how crappy the clothes selection for us fatties really is. But for some reason, this FB wants you to feel shame in one of the few places left to not be ashamed. A++ work Fashion Bug. A++.

2nd: Person A is talking about person B, their friend. During the course of a random story, person A feels the need to bring up how much weight person B has gained. Does it have anything to do with the story? No. Not at all. But, person A makes sure to say, I just think person B has just let themselves go. And B I N G O. One of my favorite fatty phrases ever. Gaining weight is the equivalent of not brushing your teeth, combing your hair, taking a bath, or washing your clothes. You just let yourself GO.... and yeah, where do you GO? I'm not exactly sure.

3rd: "Wow. Look how fat Kelly Clarkson has gotten!" Enough said on this one.

4th: Person A is informed by person B that some random person thinks he's attractive. Person A asks person B, well is the person white or black? (awesome stuff right there!) and of course, "IS SHE BIG???" Because God forbid a fat person think you're attractive, that's worse than a dude saying your attractive, right???? Or, I almost forgot, a black woman.

And at the end of the day, people wonder why I've become a little bitter, a little unfriendly, a little TENSE.

That is all.

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